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I've been starting to count down the days until September of 2015. I guess it's enough that I can actually have this to countdown to; to know that each day that passes means it's one day closer to me leaving. At the same time, over 300 days to go until September seems like an eternity. 

Lately some people involved in my life have made some pretty questionable decisions, which is hard to sit by and watch. A positive of that is that I feel so grateful and lucky to be able to have this oppurtunity to pursue my education further, to live in my favorite city in the world and to travel around my favorite continent. For years this is what I have craved so badly. It's what I have wanted so much and there are very few things that would stop me from doing this. For me, a constant goal for me was to live in central London, do something I love and just travel. Travel is not a luxury to me; it is a necessity. It is something that I have to do, or else I'm sure I'd go insane. Staying stagnant in one place, or even one country seems hellish to me. I've been in my current city for just over a year and a half, and now with the impending move to London, I am restless and anxious. It feels like torture to wait a year to finally get to where I want to be, to where I have worked so hard to get to. To be so close to achieving something, to have it dangling in front of me...but wait, you cannot grasp it yet. 

School and various things keep me distracted for the most part. Future trips I am planning also keep me distracted because I know I'll be able to quench the thirst of my desire to travel. Even with distractions, the want and need for London creeps its way in and seems to weave itself like a thread through my daily life and routine. 

I try to tell myself that having this opportunity is an incredible feat - one that I couldn't have pictured for myself just a few years ago. I dreamt of it, sure, but they were just dreams; no basis in my reality. It makes me feel incredibly lucky to have worked so hard and gotten here, to have the chance to pursue my dream, my ultimate goal. So many people I know cannot, or will not pursue what they want for varying reasons. Or they live a life they simply live because they feel obligated to, not because they want to. I am so grateful for my travels, because traveling has opened by eyes to so many things and has made me into who I am. It has showed me what I truly want, and to sacrifice things along the way, but in the end, it is worth it. 

I have never pursued a traditional path in anything. Not while I was young, not in college, not in my impending graduation. While other people seemingly have a checklist...4 years in college, meet someone, fall in love, get engaged, get married, buy a house...I have never seen the solace in that for myself. Those are not wants for myself in the present, they feel like obligations in place by our society that I have no interest in. I am focusing wholly on myself, and what I want. I am allowing myself to be completely selfish, to fill myself with all of my ambitions and the determination to achieve them. 

Knowing this, it is no wonder I have such an intense desire to leave, and leave now. I just want to surround myself with everything I love, everything I crave, everything I need.

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."