London, tomorrow.

I wrote this post back on Monday, when my fear of moving was at its peak. I wasn't sure how to deal with it, so at 2 am I decided to just write about it, hence this post. I think in moving overseas, there is a lot of glamour to it, but I don't think you see the side of fear too often.

While I'm less scared now, I did think it was important to share exactly what I was feeling even if it wasn't the most happy or excited kinds of emotions. I'm excited, don't get me wrong...it's just my fear was clouding that. This is the biggest thing I have ever done in my life, and especially leading up to my leaving, my fear was heightened.

It's going to be incredibly difficult, but I have to do it for myself. It'll be worth it in the end.

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I move to London in 5 days. 

My funds have come in, my student visa has been approved, I have a place to live. All of the important things are been sorted out, all of the I’d dotted, and T’s crossed.

And I couldn’t be more terrified.

As the date draws closer, the excitement of moving has ebbed, and the fear has taken over. I’ve been so busy with coming back from South Africa, working and trying to obtain my visa (which was a nightmare) to really give into the fear of what I’m about to do. But now that the date is looming, the fear seems to be the only thing that I’m trying not to give into and it won’t subside.

I absolutely hate change, and I’m making the biggest change of my life so far. I’m trying to come to grips with the fact that  in 5 days every single thing around me will be unfamiliar. The bed I wake up in will not be mine. Trading bus lines for tube lines. Pounds instead of dollars. And I will be completely and utterly alone; this being the biggest change of all. Forcing myself from a life of frequent dependance to complete independence by doing the most radical thing I know possible: moving to a new country completely and utterly alone.

I keep running over and over in my head why I am doing this. I want this. It’s been a dream of mine to live in London for 5 years. Maybe, hopefully this will be the first chapter in my story of a life lived abroad. Yet no matter how many times I repeat my many reasons why, it doesn’t negate the fact that it would be so easy to just stay at home. Right now it seems like the easiest thing in the world. Of course moving to London is right, staying at home is easy. 

As hard as it is, staying home I know isn’t an option. It seems like the easier option, but in time it would prove to not be. The opportunity of a life in London, a life abroad that slipped away would eat away at me as I fell into a mind numbingly boring routine of a life in some U.S. city. 

They say if your dreams don’t scare you, then they aren’t big enough. And I can attest to the fact that this is completely and one hundred percent true. Moving abroad is scary, but staying in my home country is scarier. Even now, with mere days left in the U.S., the fear of moving is prevalent in my daily life but I know I need to get on the plane. Even if it’s one of the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

It’s funny because in past years getting on an airplane was the easiest thing in the world. Getting on that plane meant I was that much closer to starting a new adventure; a new country visited to cross off of my list, only to be put back on my list of places to return to. Now, getting on that plane is like the last step. Once I’m on it, there is no turning back. The plane is the one thing that stands between a life in America and a life in England. I think boarding that plane will be an experience of all different sorts of emotions. A life of traditional routine and other people’s expectations…lost, and left behind. A new life of whatever London has in store for me…almost found and not quite yet discovered.

It’s going to be quite strange leaving the country, not having an idea when I will be back. Once I land in London, a new chapter begins. And I have to hit the ground running, whether I like it or not.

So many people don’t do things out of fear. But it’s important to not listen or give into that fear. While I am positive that fear will be the strongest it as ever been in 5 days time, I can’t give into it.

A life in London is what I wanted, what I’ve waited 5 years for. And now I’m scared shitless for it.

Tomorrow.

Well, this is it: tomorrow I travel to South Africa! It will be the fourth continent I have been lucky enough to set foot on.

I have a nice 12 hour layover London there & back before making it to the southern most country in Africa. I'm actually very excited to be back in London again - and I just found out today I received my first choice room assignment in the housing I wanted for September! Woo hoo for not being a homeless expat!

Due to the hectic nature of my trip to South Africa, and with me not bringing my computer (can't risk something happening to it/too lazy to drag it with me) I don't think I'll be blogging much while I'm away. However, upon my return I plan on updating with many South Africa posts!

In case you do want to follow me on my adventures, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter, both are @stormsatsea.

Wish me luck on my adventure in experiencing beautiful South Africa! xx

You Don't Have to Live the Life You're Expected To

With my college graduation coming up, many people around me are in that often terrifying phase of interviewing and trying to find a job. As for me, I'm preparing for South Africa and moving abroad.

Talk about going down a different path.

In recent months I've decided to embrace the untraditional rather than fight it. Why? Because traditional is boring and predictable and I'm not much of a fan of those things. They say routine is lethal, and in many cases, it very much is.

I was a senior in college in 2012. About to go into my last semester of college, preparing myself for job hunting and trying to ignore the terrifying reality of finding a job with a useless degree. I slowly came to the realization I could not accept the reality of whatever state my life would have been as a post grad at that time. Torn between wanting to be done with school but not wanting to be stuck in a dead end job for the rest of my life, I knew I had to make a change. I knew I had to change my major, my school, the city and state that I lived in.

At the time, I'm sure many thought I was crazy. I knew graduation day would bring a temporary relief, then a crippling depression is trying to create a life with a degree I hated and was not proud to have. I'm sure many people didn't agree with my choice. You graduate college in 4 years, get a job, work until you are 65. Done. That's it. It's just what you do.

Of course I was terrified, not knowing if it was the right thing to do, but I also knew I couldn't settle for where I was or the degree I would have had.

So here we are. Over 2 years later and now I'm about to graduate college...once again. This time though, I'm in a much better place with a degree I'm proud to get.

Of course being in college for 7 years..isn't exactly the traditional way of doing things. And for so long I fought that but recently have grown to accept it and more importantly embrace the untraditional.

Travel has taught me to embrace that. A week after I graduate, I'm off to South Africa. That's not exactly the standard way of doing things, either. And then London for at least a year, and then? Who knows.

What I do know is that whatever and wherever I end up, it doesn't have to be the path everyone else goes down. It doesn't have to be approved by anyone else but me. If my family doesn't approve of whatever country I'm in or whatever I happen to be doing for money, then okay. But if I am happy and fulfilled, then that is what matters.

Because from my travels, I know travel is something I can't give up. Or choose between. Or be satisfied with 2 weeks vacation a year to quench my wanderlust. Country hopping around the globe and making money from whatever source you can isn't exactly the life society experts you to lead but here is the thing: you don't have to live the life you're expected to. Some fight it, and yet some embrace it.

If I'm not happy, then what else matters? If I am not fulfilled, what else matters? If I'm not passionately excited about life, what else matters?

I have no idea what is coming after London. No clue where I'll be in the world, where home base will be, where I'll earn money. That doesn't scare me though. Instead of letting it scare me, I let it inspire me. After London I have a freedom many do not get to have: the choice to do whatever I want wherever it is around the world that I want to do it. To have that control...to take that leap and choose to have adventures across the globe if I so choose to.

You don't have to live the life you're expected to. Because life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all. As for me? I'm checking off the 'daring adventure' box.

My First Solo Travel Experience

 Boston Logan airport, ready to fly solo. 

 When I went to London a 2 months ago (I can't believe it's been a 2 months already!) it was my very first trip flying solo. In the past, I've always traveled with friends or a group, but this time I was going it alone. Also, I didn't have much planned where as in my pervious travels it seemed like every minute was planned for. So when I left for my trip knowing this time would be completely different from the past, I was pretty scared, not going to lie.

I was afraid of getting around and finding my way through London. I have a horrible sense of direction and always get lost. I was afraid of navigating the tube. I was afraid of having to get from Heathrow into London. I was afraid of staying in a hostel with strangers and afraid of being bored or lonely. I was pretty much terrified of all of it, and yet still got on the plane. And through my visit I realized something: every single thing I was afraid of? I conquered it. Everything I had feared before going seems so silly now. While there were some bumps along the way, I still came back to the U.S. in one piece and so proud of myself that I had taken on my first trip abroad completely alone.

I've read countless articles about why women should travel solo, and that every woman should do it at least once in there lives. I definitely agree with this, and while it was difficult at times being abroad alone, I am so glad I did it because I needed to have that experience. I can't imagine moving in September without having gone on this trip. If I hadn't gone, my adjustment into the UK would have been a lot more difficult. I needed to figure out the tube and how it works, I needed to get lost (countless of times) and figure out how to not be lost,  and I needed to be able to plan out and do what I wanted by myself. I needed this experience to become more independent; something I struggled with here in America.

My solo experience wasn't all amazing but it wasn't all horrible either. The first few days were hard. It was a big adjustment for me to wake up and decide what I wanted to do and where I wanted to go without consulting a friend or group. London is such a huge city, and I had to be okay with exploring an area and getting completely lost. It's just inevitable when you don't know a place that well. Waking up each day throwing myself into that kind of independence and the slight panic of constantly being lost...it threw me.

It was a hard few days at first. Not being used to being alone in a huge city, and I just kind of threw myself into that situation and there was definitely an adjustment period.

I really wanted to love traveling alone, I did. But I didn't. And that's not to say I can't, or won't ever love it. Maybe I just need more time with it...once I am in London and day to day being alone I will become more accustomed to it and my outlook will change.

For now, though, I think I'd like to travel with a friend or a small group. I realize I need that human interaction and someone to experience things with when I travel. This didn't come as a huge surprise to me as I knew this before I left, but being in London alone tested that theory for me and I came out the other side having learned that okay, this is more along the lines of what I personally enjoy when I travel.

All in all though, I'm glad I did it. Hearing over and over again how women should travel alone, at least once in their life, I'm glad I finally did it. It was scary, but it prepared me more for the move in September. Now the move is just a little less scary and intimidating for me.

So, for now I don't think I'll be jetting around the world solo as of yet. But maybe in the future, who knows?

Have you ever traveled solo? What was your experience with it?

My Big 5: Top 5 Things I Have to See in South Africa

I'm so excited to be counting down the days until I leave for South Africa...exactly 42! I was finally able to book my flight a few weeks ago, which was such a relief. I had been monitoring the flights & price for months, hoping to score a deal and thankfully was able to. I got an incredible deal on my flight plus a long layover in London each way! So I will be back in London for 12 hours in June and July as well.

As the end of May draws closer, I've been doing more and more research on Cape Town and South Africa itself an what to do there hoping to make the most of my free time there. When you are on a safari, they often talk about seeing the Big Five, which refers to the top 5 animals to see on safari. However, I thought I'd talk about my own personal Big Five...my own top 5 things I have to do during my month in the country. My Big Five are:

Cage Dive with Sharks

Since South Africa has a huge shark population (primarily great white sharks) it seems only natural to swim with them, right? Okay, maybe not. However cage diving in South Africa is the thing to do, and well, when in Rome right? After talking to someone who has done it, it really isn't as nearly as scary as you would think, nor is it as expensive. It is a cost, but I say to able able to tell people you've swam with sharks, in Africa no less, is totally worth it.

Table Mountain Cable Car Ride

It's one of Cape town's iconic landmarks: Table Mountain. Looming over the city, Table Mountain is a flat topped mountain (flat like a table) that seemingly grew out of the city itself. One of the most common things to do in the city is to take a cable car ride to the top where insanely incredible views of the entire city and the sea below await you. The cable cars themselves are unique as the bottoms are glass and rotate so you never miss out on the view. I hope to make it up here during the day, but also to view a sunset and possibly a sunrise too.

Kirstenbosch Tree Canopy

Located in Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens is a tree canopy; seemingly a pathway built 40 feet above the ground at its highest point, nestled in among the trees. The canopy's construction started in 2013, to commemorate the garden's 100th anniversary of operation. Having been completed then opened in May of 2014, it is a fairly new addition to the gardens but in my opinion, is one I'd like to see.  

Go on a Safari

Safaris are a must do in South Africa, or almost any African country. I am lucky enough to be able to experience a week long stay at Kruger National Park, arguably one of the best places to go on safari in all of South Africa. At 5 million acres in size (!) it seems a week long stay is not nearly enough to experience what this park has to offer. Unlike most safari parks in South Africa that are somewhat in an enclosed or restricted by environment, Kruger is an genuine as it gets. Here the animals are truly in their natural environment and are in the wild. Waking up early every morning to go on game drives or walks is sure to be surreal and I cannot wait.

Boulder’s Beach

One word: penguins. I absolutely adore penguins so I have to come here. Boulder's Beach is a famous beach located along the Cape Peninsula known for being home to a colony of African penguins. Here you'll witness the penguins waddling in the sand and swimming in the beautiful blue waters of False Bay. If you love penguins, Boulder's Beach is an attraction in Cape Town you have to see.

What are your Big 5 things to see in South Africa?

Images via here, here, here, here and here.

The Best Laid Plans...

Wanting to pursue grad school, there was and always is the possibility that it might not happen. And if I do go, and want to stay in London, there is a possibility that won't happen either.

Before I left for London, I was set on staying in the UK after my program, no matter what. I couldn't see past that option. But since I've returned, I realized I have to stay practical, and plan for plan B, C, D, etc. in case plan A doesn't work out. I still would like to stay in the UK, and obviously want to pursue my education there, but I have to plan for if I don't get scholarships, or if financing doesn't work out the way I hope it will.

There may only be the private lending option to get loans for school, in which case would be a no go. I don't think people realize how truly horrible private lenders (such as Sallie Mae) are. No payment plans, income based repayment or loan forgiveness here. If that were the case with me as being the only option for funding, grad school wouldn't happen. A huge monthly payment that I wouldn't be able to afford, and have no other option than to pay isn't an option for me. I'm going to talk to someone about what sort of loan options are for me in this process, but I don't know what I don't know. I could assume oh yeah I'll get federal funding, and then not be able to because of whatever sort of circumstances from my situation that might arise.

If I don't get any funding/only funding through private lenders

Try to find a job in the U.S. As devastated I would be to not get adequate funding, I also know I don't want to be stuck with huge monthly payments that I no option but to pay back. A lender won't give two shits about how much I owe versus how much monthly income I have. You HAVE to pay it back, no matter what. And I don't want to subject myself to that. So I would try to find a job in the U.S. maybe in Boston or NYC, giving up on grad school entirely.

Find a job to fund a degree. Many companies will pay for you to get your Master's. Another option would be to get in a company that would pay for my degree, and do my degree in London that way. Though I don't know if companies will pay for you to get your degree in another country...

Find a job with offices in London. A more feasible option, especially if I really want to get to London (and I do) is to work for a company that has offices in London, and after some time, transfer to their office there. This option would be nice because I could be in London with a job already, no extra grad school or cost to be paid. And no worries of finding a job to be able to stay.

Grad school in the U.S. with a study abroad component. I could decide to enroll in a program here in the U.S. and see if I could do a semester or a year abroad at the school's London campus. I have seen this happen, at least for a semester. This is assuming I found a program I liked equally here, and were able to do some or most of my degree in London.

If I were in London & forced to leave

Ah, the best laid plans. I do want to stay in London, but after hearing so many horror stories, I have to plan for if I am not able to stay, assuming I get there in the first place. It's a hard pill to swallow (almost as hard as not being able to go at all.) But it should be planned for in case it doesn't work out and I have no plan B in place.

Move to another country in Europe. Another option would be to try to find a job someone else in the EU. In my very early stages of research, it seems fairly easy to find a visa/work in other countries compared to the UK. I could be wrong, but it seems the UK is extremely difficult with this, while others countries are not. I've been looking into other cities, but definitely would need a big city with good transit. Possibly Amsterdam, Dublin, Brussels, Berlin...who knows. Obviously London is my first choice, but if I want to stay in Europe, it might be a possibility.

Move back to the U.S. trying for a transfer back. Much like the transfer option above, if I hd to move back to the U.S. I would try to find a job with offices in London and work there for a suitable amount of time and try to transfer back to London that way. Most people who move back to the U.S., not voluntarily, plan for this option. Aside from marrying a Brit for a visa...which, well. That would certainly be an interesting way to go about it.

I'm trying to be proactive here, and plan for every possible scenario. I just want to be prepared no matter what happens. I absolutely, 100% want to move to London in September, but there are so many things that could happen in between now & then that I could have never seen coming. I hate having to entertain that possibly happening because I have been planning for this for many months, over a year. I would be so upset to have to change the plan. I am so set in this plan and hate change. So to have to do a complete 180 from what I had originally thought would be terrible.

So for now I'm planning to move to London in September. Whether appropriate funding will come through, and everything will work out remains to be seen. As of right now, the University of Westminster is Plan A and I have every intention of seeing the plan through. I guess time will tell.

Image via here.

My Week In London

I'm officially back in America after spending the week in London! I got back one week ago, and have spent the past days getting back into the swing of things: working, school...back to daily life. With my hours at my job, and the craziest trimester of school thus far plus planning for South Africa, (not to mention moving)...it's going to be a busy few months! At least I have the comfort of knowing Africa is definitely happening. It was touch and go there for awhile about the trip being canceled, which would have been devastating. I am happy to report, however, I am worried no more: it is 100% a go!

I traveled and spent the past week in London mostly by myself (there will be a post on this later) so I had the whole week to myself to explore the city I longed to get back to.

With the exception of checking out my university and housing, I had no concrete plans. This was quite the difference from my previous travels where seemingly every minute was planed and an insane schedule was to be stuck to. I was on my own, and had no one telling me where to go, and what to do and how much time I had left. So once I checked into my hostel, I sat in the room thinking...what now?

I spent the next several days trying to map out a basic plan of what neighborhoods I wanted to explore and what things I wanted to see. Each day I kept thinking of new things to see and do and ended up running out of time. Not surprising though, as there is so much to see and do in London. Good thing I'm going back ;)

I would take the tube to several areas around central London and just walk around and explore (and proceed to get very lost). I explored Notting Hill, Marylebone, Knightsbridge, SoHo, Westminster, Kensington...and so on. I saw so much, and yet saw so little of the huge city that is London.

I also met up with old and new friends! I was able to meet up with Sam from Sam's Fifth Avenue (previously Wandering Grad) who is attending my same university. I have been in touch with Sam for several months now. We got in touch because I had heard she was attending my university and we share a mutual love and obsession for London and travel. We met up, and Sam showed me where I'll hopefully be living in September and told me all about her impending move to NYC. It's always exciting meeting someone you've been talking to for a long time, and meeting Sam was no different!

It was a strange experience visiting my school. It's just after thinking about it for so long, then finally being there in person was surreal. I got to meet the director of my program, see my campus and I also visited potential housing sites. All in all, it was a good experience and I am eager to return in September to start.

I feel a lot better about everything having seen what I did in person. It would be a bigger adjustment had I not gone and seen everything, though still a big adjustment just the same once I move.

Now I just have to finish up my last trimester of school, graduate, go to Africa, wait 2 months THEN I can move. Hope time flies!